40k: Midnight Blade

Chapter 85 83. Nine (Two, 3k)

"The eighteenth day of the voyage."

"Everything is normal, except that Xiani has been restless recently and looking for people to fight everywhere, my brothers are very calm. This makes me very relieved, at least they all know what they should do."

"Lord Khalil has not shown up for three days. I asked the crew and they said that he has been learning some knowledge about sailing from the captain on the ship."

"This is indeed in line with his style. Although we have not been together for a long time, we are willing to admit that he is the instructor of the Eighth Legion. Sometimes, this attitude of leading by example is more inspiring than other things."

"However, this matter does embarrass me a little. The voyage has continued so far, and we have not encountered any place that needs us, and I am actually a little dissatisfied in my heart."

"I am very upset to realize this. I should not look forward to a battle. This may be my duty, but it is not for other crew members. Peace is a precious thing for everyone. I should learn to find something to do by myself like Lord Khalil."

Van Cleef put down his pen and finished writing. He picked up the paper, tore it into pieces slowly, and threw it on the table. He closed his eyes and began to restore the paper by memory alone. Twenty-seven seconds later, he opened his eyes and saw a pile of broken pieces.

Sighing, the captain picked them up and threw them into the trash can next to the desk. Tomorrow morning, the servitors will come to clean up the garbage. They will disappear with the flames in a garbage incinerator somewhere on the ship, just like his complicated thoughts.

Van Cleef has kept this habit for eleven years. Why he started, he has long forgotten, but this habit has helped him a lot in these eleven years.

Examining one's own heart is helpful for anyone, unless that person is extremely proud.

Standing up, he walked out of the room, still wearing MK2 without taking it off, his footsteps dull and echoing.

There are clear regulations to keep the armor during the voyage, and for the Astartes, they don't need to lie on the bed to rest. Sometimes, a quiet meditation is enough to solve the physical fatigue.

Just as he wrote, he planned to find something for himself to do - but he would never go around looking for people to fight like Siani did.

These days, Siani has bothered those armored servitors so many times that people suspect that they are about to develop self-awareness.

Thinking of this, Van Cleef's old-fashioned face showed a fleeting smile.

Siani, Siani from Terra, a reckless young man, has no surname, and is the son of a criminal like them, but, so what?

Now, he is fighting for atonement. Therefore, his vigor and vitality are exactly what the gloomy people of the Eighth Legion need. When silence becomes the majority, vitality becomes a rare treasure.

Sighing, Van Cleef went away.

——

"The twenty-seventh day of the voyage."

"Everything is normal? Should I say that? Or should I choose to use another word? Quiet? Yes, too quiet. In the past, I could tolerate this kind of quietness, after all, it was because we were always on the road to war."

"A working person is happy. I saw this sentence in a book. It is true and not wrong. People do need to work, but not for the sake of work, but to prove their value."

"As an Astartes, my value can only be shown in war."

"But now it's different. I can't stand such a peaceful day. I think I can guess the reason. The first reason, and the biggest reason, is because I am away from the Primarch."

"The Legion should stay with their Primarch, right? This is a matter of course. But I have to endure it. For the future of Nostramo, this is tolerable."

"Although I don't like - I can even say I hate that It is a planet, but it is obviously worth being transformed. Whether it is the special treatment as the home planet of the Primarch or the subsequent impact of the adamantium, it is worth being transformed. "

"Moreover, for those suffering people, it deserves to be saved once."

"As for the second reason, I guess it is because this voyage is not a warp voyage. In the past, we always set off and arrived in an emergency. "

"Although the warp voyage is dangerous, it can at least shorten the journey that takes years or even decades to a very optimistic number. But now it is different. Two months of voyage is a bit unbearable. "

"I am ashamed of this. I should not let this emotion affect me, but I can't help it. I urgently hope that this wait can end quickly. I hope that the transaction can be completed successfully and we can return to the Primarch as soon as possible. In the past, I could endure it because I had never seen our Primarch, but now"

Van Cleef silently put down the pen in his hand and didn't want to write anymore. He silently picked up the paper and threw it into the trash can.

After doing all this, he walked out the door. The scenery outside the armored glass porthole was normal. He saw the shadows of the frigates again. They were sailing in the dark vacuum, and their tails sprayed out brilliant traces, shining with the starry sky.

The captain of the Eighth Legion walked away silently. He was going to find something for himself to do. He had to do so.

——

"The thirty-sixth day of the voyage."

"Halfway through the journey, I'm very happy. Siani seemed to notice it, and made a point of teasing me during dinner today. His clumsy jokes made everyone laugh happily, even Mr. Khalil. Although he didn't It’s clear, but that fleeting smile is still too obvious for us.”

"It seems that except for me, my brothers' emotions are all normal. Realizing this makes the hidden guilt in my heart more and more obvious, and I actually start to long for a sudden encounter-preferably without death. That kind of thing.”

"I will lead my brothers to join gangs and achieve a glorious victory. I don't need to know who the enemy is. They can be aliens hiding, they can be some planets that have not surrendered to the empire, or they can be a group of Pirates. I don’t care, as long as there are enemies for me to fight.”

"This idea has been lingering in my mind for many days, and it has slowly developed into a burden that I can't get rid of. I am very upset and ashamed about it, but I don't know how to solve it."

"I have begun to spend all my spare energy in the temporary training room like Siani, but this idea is still difficult to get rid of."

"I hate it and I hate myself."

"Master Khalil must have seen the reason behind my recent silence. He asked me several times in a subtle way and wanted to talk to me, but out of shame, I refused."

"And he didn't ask any more questions. He was always like this, and he had comfortable guidelines and bottom lines in some places. But I was actually eager for him to ask questions, so that I could express my shame under the pressure he exerted. ”

"But he didn't, so I stayed silent. I had to."

"After all, I am the Captain of the Eighth Legion. My brothers trust me, the Primarch also trusts me, and Lord Khalil also trusts me. How can I betray their trust? I must find a way to drive away this thought completely. Out of my mind.”

"There's nothing wrong with longing for victory, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to use work to prove one's worth, but I can never prove it by looking forward to war."

"I need to calm down, it's a bit difficult, but I believe I should be able to do it."

"In addition, I have decided not to write on these papers that will eventually become ashes in the fire from tomorrow on. It is really a waste. These papers are valuable, and these pens and ink are also valuable. Their value should not be used by me. Come write some nonsense that no one will see."

Van Cleef put down the pen in his hand tiredly and sighed slowly. He raised his palms to his face and rubbed them. The fierce face actually looked a little sad at this moment.

Five minutes later, he stood up and left his empty room.

——

"Day 54 of the voyage."

"I made it! I don't think about those things anymore!"

"In six days, we will arrive at our destination. The scenery along the way is finally no longer so lifeless. The frigates are now spread out, forming discrete escort formations on both sides of the ship. We don't need to be so close. ”

"After all, we have entered the Macragge system. This is the home system of Robert Guilliman, brother of our father Conrad Curze, and Robert Guilliman. It is extremely safe, although there are still many places that have not been explored. bright."

"Today, when I was observing in front of the porthole, I saw many ships rushing away. They all had their own missions, just like me. Realizing this really made me choke up. I never thought that I To be so eager for a battle.”

"Master Khalil reminded me again today in a subtle way. He said that the most dangerous part of war is not death, but creating a steady stream of dead people while also creating a batch of living dead people."

"I know what he is saying, and I agree with him. Indeed, our fight is to bring peace, to eliminate sin, not to fight for the sake of fighting."

"I survived this solitary ordeal. I did not disgrace the First Company, nor the trust of my brothers, nor the trust of the Primarch. And Lord Khalil, I hope that one day, I can stand up Chest told him that I thank him for his tireless efforts these days. "

Smiling, VanCleef put down his quill and threw the page into the overflowing trash can.

The update is complete and all outstanding updates have been paid off.

In addition, I recommend a Warhammer fanfic, first person, the writing is very good, and it is closer to the Black Library style than I am. Although it is still a seedling, it is worth reading. It is about the Custodes.

Warhammer: Gold's Dream