left hand

Chapter 2 Paragraph 2

I don't know how long it took, but that chill hit again.I don't want to open my eyes anymore, and I don't want to see that hand anymore.But I still couldn't bear it, and opened it a little.

No?Are you really... nervous?I wanted to turn over, but my feet touched something again, the cold touch made my whole body tremble.What is it this time?one foot?I guessed.Don't worry, don't care, when there is nothing left at dawn, I come to comfort myself: there is nothing to be afraid of, the worst thing is to die, and I am relieved.I don't know where such a self-defeating idea came up.

die?Never thought about it, but I know, I deserve to live.Every day I hear people say that we should cherish life, life is indeed precious, just like now, I have to do the same thing every day to keep my life.Let me die?I can not let it go.

What is going on?I just moved into this house two days ago, and I haven't heard of anyone dying or being haunted. Could it be that the landlord lied to me?There was a dragging sound from upstairs. Really, it’s so late, what are people doing on the rooftop.The people above didn't seem to care about other people's feelings, and the sound was so loud that it made people flustered.

I should not be able to sleep again tonight, not only the sound from above, but also the foot on the bed made me tremble with fear.The alarm clock is making noise again. The battery is dying. It was like this last time, but I don't have time to buy batteries.Forget it, let it go, as long as it works.

"Tat-tat-tat..." The hurried, orderly voice rang in my ears unscrupulously. I was afraid that I couldn't bear it, so I threw the alarm clock out of the window.The voice above finally stopped, the curtains were not drawn, moonlight?I don't know how old it is in the lunar calendar today, and I don't know whether the moon is full or waning.Sigh~ Forget it, what do you do if you know?

"Tick tock..." A voice came from the kitchen, did you forget to turn off the water?A pause, a pause, and a wave made people unable to sleep even more.I really want to turn on the light and see it all.There is no reason to refute, but the body is still unwilling to move, contradictory.I squinted my eyes and stared straight at the ceiling. There were large black stains on the corner of the wall, which were caused by years of water seepage, occupying a large area of ​​the ceiling and a small part of the wall.Some places are even cracked, and there is a long strip, like a bug, which always feels like it is wriggling.Fortunately, there was no water leakage. I laughed when I remembered the scene of holding a basin to catch water.

I covered my mouth to calm myself down.This movement seemed to touch that foot again, and I didn't dare to confirm anything, so I froze on the bed.I felt that my feet were very cold, and I moved my toes. What I can only be sure of now is: my feet are indeed growing on my body, and they will not go to other places.

The sound of cat meowing came from outside, like a baby crying.In this way, another night passed in chaos.When I brushed my teeth in the morning, I noticed that I had two extra dark circles.I hope the boss can see my exhaustion and let me stop doing so many things.

I went out before seven o'clock, and there was a bit of fog in the surrounding area. There were not many pedestrians, only the students who were young but had to find hardship.Seeing their appearance, I think of my past, when I set off before dawn, I hope that when I grow up, I can live easily.Didn't expect it to be so early.Although I went to bed after seven o'clock last night, sleeping and falling asleep are two different things.

Walking across the bridge, the fog on the river blows along the flowing water.It's quite spectacular, like the water mist splashed by a waterfall.The fog is thicker, and the lights of cars in the distance can be seen flickering in the fog.The sky is slightly bright, I don't know where the light is coming from, I can't tell the difference between the east, west and north, I only know that when I go home, the sun will be on the roof in front of the right.

Now I can still vaguely see the moon persistently hanging in the sky, and the few stars are still doing the final struggle, shining as brightly as possible.There was a plastic bag in the middle of the road, played by the wind, suddenly spun and flew into the air.Slowly drifting towards the river, he was caught by the water all of a sudden, drifting with the current, unable to move.

I always feel like this is my destiny.Being bound by many things, I once thought I would go crazy, but in the end I didn't. This world didn't seem to leave me many happy memories.

For several days.That's all.Right hand and right foot appeared on the bed.What will it be today?Body?I went to bed early again this day, otherwise I won't get enough sleep if I wake up at night.Although this strange thing happened, I never thought about moving.This may bring a little twists and turns to my boring life.

It was that time when I didn't know the time, and I woke up again. This time, it wasn't a cold air out of thin air. My quilt was leaning against something.Suddenly remembered the famous ghost story, back to back.Yeah, why didn't you look under the bed, there might really be a dead body lying there.

Speaking of memorizing, I think of the classic "Brokeback Mountain". The unrecognized love affair actually made me look forward to it.At this time, I actually imagined the candidate in my mind, what, I laughed at myself, and rubbed back, that cold back seemed to be warmed by me.

For some reason, I wanted to turn around and circle it, but I didn't dare.Terrible, isn't it?There was a slight rustling sound, accompanied by a small chirping sound.I ate instant noodles today and didn't wash the dishes, and the mice ran out.Thinking of mice taking a bath in a bowl makes me sick.Forget it, I won’t need that bowl in the future.Listening to the time passing by bit by bit, the night is so long.In the past, I slept until dawn, and never felt the darkness and longness of night.

There was the sound of cars whizzing by outside, accompanied by the whining of the dog, which puppy, what a pity.The dog howled for a while, and then stopped. It always felt that something was missing in the ear, and it was surprisingly quiet.

The alarm clock finally rang, I immediately jumped off the bed, lifted the quilt, there was nothing, and then looked under the bed, it was empty.When I went to the kitchen, I found a leftover mouse poop and a few messy little paw prints. There were many ants crawling on the ground, busy in a long queue.It turned out that there were some residues on the ground, which became a delicious meal for the ants. When I pulled them with my feet, the ants immediately fled and scattered, and the neat team was also disrupted.

I walked along the route of the ants and found a small hole hidden in the corner, where the ants crawled in and out.I picked up my hair and inserted it into the hole, and the ants panicked again. When I pulled out the hair, I saw a few brave ant soldiers biting on it, seeing enough, I threw it away.

Originally, I should have gone out at this time.However, weekends are an exception.Hey~ Others have two days off a week, but I only have one day, which is quite unfortunate. It seems that there is a saying that life is perfect when you brush your teeth: Do you have glasses in one hand and washware in the other?

What should I do today?There was warm sunlight coming in, and shadows of various things were cast on the ground.Those who stand in the sun will see the darkness of their shadows more clearly, while those who hide in the shadows will be wrapped in darkness.

Walking into the living room, there was a crisp sound of shoes being dragged.Looking out the window, there are many people, some are walking silently, some are waiting for something, children are jumping and playing, a few birds are chasing and playing in the air, it is a lively and lively scene.

But, I know that's not mine.I'm just the one to see the scenery, not to be someone else's scenery.The time is slowly approaching eleven o'clock, and I have done everything I have to do.Thinking back to the past, I slept until the afternoon. I have never woken up so early on a rest day.

A little bird sat on the window sill, jumping around and chirping.After a while, another one came, they danced for a while, and then both flew away.How many dreams and fantasies have existed in that vast and endless sky, and every cloud is full of innocence at that time. When the rain falls, it becomes the despair of the whole place.

The snow that I once looked forward to so much in the New Year has now become a synonym for trouble. I have not been with my family for many years, and it seems that all my memories have become alone.

What's going on?I'm only 24 years old.I always feel that I have become an old man who has experienced vicissitudes of life.None of the passions that this age group has.No, I don't seem to have it all the time, I just lived my life in such a muddle, and in the blink of an eye, I have arrived at the present again.Maybe in the blink of an eye, I'm already going to die.

I don't know what day it is today, and I don't know what day of the week it is. I only know that there will be one day to rest in six days.I feel that my memory is vacant a lot. There is nothing that can make me unforgettable, and everything is so forgotten.Sometimes I forget my age. If this year is not the year of birth, I may not know it. I am only 24 years old.

Time passed slowly like this. Sometimes, it feels like a short time; sometimes, it feels like a long time.But it will always pass with a "click", never coming back, leaving no trace.No matter how long the wait is, there will be a moment of waiting; no matter how long the journey is, there will be a moment of arrival; no matter how long a life is, there will be a moment of death.In fact, persistence and belief are born in this way.The end point is ahead, it will never move, but people are moving forward slowly.

There are some things that I don't dare to think about at all. Forever, I just stick to the rules and live mediocrely and numbly.The originally sharp-edged stones at the bottom of the river became rounded under the erosion of running water.

Not knowing how to waste this extra time, I walked out of the house and came to the gate of the rooftop.The dilapidated iron door was thrown on the ground casually, and it turned into powdery fragments with a light touch.On the roof, looking down at the ground, looking up, but only a corner of the sky can be seen.Surrounded by taller buildings all around, I sit and watch the sky like a frog at the bottom of a well.There is a tree growing beside the house, the crown is about the same height as me, I approached it, and because I was bored, I pulled the leaves on the tree.As the leaves swayed, I seemed to hear the immature chirping of young chicks.

After searching it carefully, I found a simple little nest built among the branches.Inside were two little birds, eyes closed and featherless, looking ugly.They have small goose-yellow beaks, and their short wings are trembling. I don't know if it's the fear of being frightened, or the excitement that the mother bird has returned.Among the swaying branches, small birds are easy to fall, to be eaten by wild cats and dogs, ignored by the indifferent, trampled to death by the malicious, and used as toys by curious children.If something happens to the mother bird, they will starve to death too.So helpless, so weak, but still have the desire for life, fighting among brothers and sisters.

Nature is so cruel, the weak prey on the strong.Some people may appreciate it, which is enough to make the race better; maybe some people will cast aside it, which is unavoidably too ruthless.

The sky is blue, the clouds are white, and the sun is somewhere in the sky, blocked behind tall buildings, leaking a corner of light.Standing in the shadows where the light cannot be reached, yearning for the bright world.Perhaps, a few more steps forward, you will be relieved.With the wind blowing across my face, I felt myself trembling, like a baby bird waiting to be rescued.I really don't want to be alone anymore, I don't want to always be the one who cries in the end, crying silently alone.I very much hope that someone will comfort and accompany me, but I don't want others to understand my psychology.I don’t even know myself, I deeply think that I don’t have any yearning anymore, is this called depravity?

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